Communication training - what I learned and the will to change

by: Artur Dziedziczak

March 30, 2024

Communication training

Last week I got communication training at work, and I wanted to write some notes about it that I could easily return to. I think the best way is to post it here since I use my homepage as reference material almost every day

Notes to myself

  • Stop the sentence and let people think.
  • Add that’s it at the end of the sentence. Do you agree, Do you understand? Use right right?.
  • Know when it’s monologue or dialog.
  • Silence carries responsibility.
  • Observe the speed of others.

5 levels of listening

  • ignoring - you don’t even care to listen. Most of the meetings happen online.
  • pretending - some effort to show that you are listening. When the meeting is offline. The eyes are there, but the mind isn’t.
  • selective - put effort into selecting what you want to hear. You hear the story only from your point of view. Helpful when there is limited time.
  • attentive / active - put in even more effort and answer back. You actually care and actively ask questions about the topic.
  • empathetic - really try to understand the roots/motives of his speech. Actively asking questions. Not only what he or she says but also what their motivation is behind it. Listen to what’s not being said in the room.

How do I ask questions?

  • open - lead to discussion. Gives loads of information.
  • closed - clarity, double check, same page.
  • leading - does not leave me many options. Steer in a certain direction.
  • recall - when check if people remember stuff you made.
  • rhetorical - does not imply an answer.


  • yellow - influencing, extrovert, people
    • don’t spoil their expression.
    • ask personal questions
    • praise the personality
    • use humour
  • red - dominant, extrovert, results
    • what’s the gain?
    • give options, be submissive
  • blue - correct, introverts, results
    • be specific
    • give details
    • praise the quality of work
    • inform them on time
    • be objective
  • green - supporter, people, introverts
    • give time to think

Communication styles

You should be able to express your idea in these four styles

  • push - tell, when there is no room for creativity.
    • persuading, Blue, use arguments
    • asserting, Red
  • pull - ask,
    • bridging, Green
    • attracting, Yellow, painting the picture

How to give feedback

  • OIRA
    • Observation of something. Always based on facts! Always objective. Most hard one to get right.
    • Impact. Feelings / subjective.
    • Request. Could you not do it anymore / questions to understand
    • Agreement.
  • SBIA
    • Situation
    • Behaviour
    • Impact
    • Agreement

Sometimes it’s good to change the settings

How to deliver bad news

  • Say the bad news first
  • Let them talk
  • Empathy
  • Summarize / ask questions
  • Solution / repeat
  • Aftercare

Interesting quotes

  • Whenever you want to interrupt someone, start with their name. This trick will allow you to stop the flow.
  • Stretch your comfort zone and not go out of it